Let’s Talk About Maria

Recently all anyone online can talk about is the new season of The Bachelor. This season's male lead is 28-year-old Joey Graziadei. Graziadei is a heartthrob according to most people who watch the show due to his good looks and personality. While Joey is technically the star of season 28, viewers online can not get enough of one of his final four ladies named Maria Georgas. Fans of The Bachelor perceive Maria as cool, honest, smart, and sexy. However, the women in the house think Maria is mean, manipulative, condescending, and rude. Why is there such a contrast in the way people view Maria who is in the show vs people who view Maria from outside the show? 

When I was watching the show I found it so interesting how Maria was one of my favorite women, but many women in the house made it a point to talk poorly about her. Contestant Sydney Gordon said “Maria is annoying” and “She is a bully.” Contrastly, Maria has been one of the contestants to gain the most followers from being on the show while Sydney has been one of the contestants to lose the most followers. Sydney’s plan to bash Maria on reality TV backfired for her. Was Maria mean to the women on the show or were the women just jealous of her? 

Maria and Sydney.

From an outside perspective, it is easy to be jealous of Maria because she seemingly has everything. Most online think that the women who were mean to Maria, (Sydney, Lea, and Jess), were just jealous of her. Many think Maria is an easy target because she has such a big personality. As one Reddit user notes, “someone shows an ounce of personality and so many people tear her character apart because of it. I think she’s refreshing and the only reason I bothered even to watch this season.” Viewers adored the way Maria acted, but I wonder if they were contestants on the show that jealousy might shine through to them as well. Most individuals like to admire individuals like Maria from an outside perspective. However, it is very possible that if we knew a person like Maria, we would find them hard to tolerate. As one Reddit user noted, “People swear they love complexity and sincerity, but in actuality RUN when they see it.” Anyhow, the media and the show could have portrayed Maria differently versus how she was in real life. 

The Bachelor is known to skew people's words and perceptions on the show. So it would not be absurd if they made Maria seem different to us than how she was. As Joey Graziadei says, “It’s definitely interesting to be able to watch back these interviews and the discussions that are going on between the women. But I know there’s so much more than is always shown.” I still like Maria regardless of how the show portrayed her, but it is interesting to see how the media skews our perceptions. Similarly, on season 24 of The Bachelor, fans noticed how the producers of the show edited contestant Kelley Flanagan’s words to make it seem like she said something she didn’t. As one X user notes, “Every time Kelley says something 'rude' they don’t show her actually saying it.. soooo editing?” Many people were shocked when Flanagan liked the user's comment. Flanagan implied to fans that the producers made her seem like an antagonist in the show when in reality she was not. Similarly, one viewer on Reddit notes regarding Maria, “It seemed like the show favored her for whatever reason, and did some damage control to sway people's opinion of her.” Viewers technically only see a fraction of what happens on the show. Maria could have been worse than what we saw but, I for one, still love the contestant, but it is interesting to consider. Graziadei tries to remind audiences that only some conversations make the final cut, so what we see and determine about people is based on what the producers want us to see. As Graziadei notes regarding Sydney, “I did get to know her in other ways that you obviously didn't see on the show. She is a very sweet person.” Sydney’s friends who were also on The Bachelor commented on the matter. Bachelor Nation’s Ashley Iaconetti came to Sydney's defense on her podcast called Almost Famous, which she co-hosts with the former Bachelor star Ben Higgins. Ianconetti says, “I think there’s a lot of context missing, and that’s what I’ll say.” 

It is scary to make these assumptions about people without ever knowing them personally, but that makes the internet such a scary place. With celebrities, influencers, and even real people, we often make predetermined assumptions based on things we hear online. Users send hate comments to those online when they think they're not a good person. For example, Taylor Swift received an immense amount of hate online after she feuded with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in 2018. Swift says “When you say someone is canceled, it’s not a TV show. It’s a human being.” Cancel culture has been huge recently and the new season of The Bachelor proved how toxic the media and social media can be. Fans of the show immediately sent death threats to those involved in the drama with Maria. As Sydney said on Instagram, “I was told I’d be better off dead.” Women like Sydney and Lea received an intense amount of hate after episodes of The Bachelor aired on television. As Sydney further stated, “I didn’t know I could feel this low my entire life. Every time I open up Instagram, TikTok, I’m constantly reminded of all the insecurities it took so long to overcome.” A lot of information we see online leads to a toxic environment. We are so quick to cancel others without knowing the full story, no matter if it is true or not. 

We immediately canceled someone like Taylor Swift in 2018 over a stupid drama with Kanye and Kim. And now Taylor Swift is more popular and loved than ever before, and Kanye West is the one who is canceled for his anti-semitic comments online. The internet is so quick to switch up on people we do not know because hiding behind a screen is easier. As expressed in the article “Is Cancel Culture Effective?,” Nicole Dudenhoefer says “We have a tendency sometimes to say things via social media or other platforms that maybe we wouldn’t say if we were face to face with someone.” The media shapes our perceptions drastically creating a world of misinformation. A study done by Chi-Horng Liao from the National Library of Medicine about the public's perceptions of mass media found that “The media to which people are exposed significantly shapes their beliefs, opinions, and actions, substantially impacting their comprehension of altruism-related issues.” Our moral judgment is highly skewed because of the internet and media. It is sometimes hard to tell what is real and what is fake online because everything is for our viewing pleasure. We have to be careful what we do and say online as our words are hurtful. Viewers always want to separate people as a hero and a villain but life is not that simple. As Maria even says herself on TikTok, “I’m not innocent in this.”  There are so many complex parts to what goes on behind the scenes. Although watching the show I was definitely on Team Maria, I think it is important, although corny, to be on Team Kindness. As Maria says to fans, “spread positivity.” So the next time you sit down to watch reality television or scroll on TikTok, just ask yourself, “Is this even true?”